A Sister’s Quiet Love
“She unfailingly gave him love and support by falling into the shadows of his disability - never questioning it”
Photo Credit: Vika Glitter
Reflecting on my daughter and her infinite patience, understanding, and empathy for her brother’s conditions, always warms my heart. Growing up alongside Pierce, when his problems really started to manifest, she witnessed all the extra time, tears, and frustration that went into helping him navigate basic skills, and trying to workshop his reading, writing, spelling and math abilities. She shouldered a lot of time being independent and on her own - more out of necessity than desire sometimes.
When everything came to a head in Grade 2 (with Pierce’s mounting anxiety with school and homework), she came to me one night to share a thought during a momentary lull amidst the usual homework chaos. In her sweet voice she quietly said to me, “Mommy, when is [mommy and me] time?”.
Hearing these words brought me so much sadness.
Even at such a tender age (four), my daughter well understood that her brother needed extra guidance, extra help, and extra attention. Something she accepted, uncomplaining. She unfailingly gave him love and support by falling into the shadows of his disability - never questioning it. Watching her grow up, I marveled at this tiny soul, with her superhuman ability to laugh, and love, and shrug off all that life threw at her with such ease. Her little voice and her powerful words in that moment was a stark reminder for me to remember to honor this incredible little human, and know that her naturally beautiful disposition, and outlook on life, should not (and should never) be taken for granted. It was an important message she delivered.
So often when we have a child with special needs or with learning disabilities, there is so much that goes into their care that it is not without cost to the family. It affects everyone - parents and siblings - with some weathering it better than others. While parents tireless work to support their child with needs, the siblings in these families are also true silent heroes. These brothers and sisters and their quiet acts of love and sacrifice, boundless understanding and awareness, provide enormous gifts to overwhelmed and exhausted parents. Their incredible fortitude, resiliency, and selflessness in these difficult, pressurized settings, should never be sidelined, and instead be forever celebrated.
Thank you my darling little girl. I love your shining light and love. I love you forever.