Part 4: Pandemic Pause
We were facing a Global Pandemic.
The school shut down. My business shut down. The world shut down. And now, we were more in the dark than ever.
Image Credit: Edwin Hooper
Just as I was starting to reach out to find help for Pierce, no one imagined that the world would be plunged into silence. The threat of uncertainty loomed large. Services, help, and support evaporated as offices closed, and in-person appointments were canceled. Everything we knew, and the way we lived our lives, changed overnight.
We watched in horror as COVID numbers blistered, and the death tolls toppled new records daily. There was no mental space to focus on anything other than the Pandemic - supporting the essential workers, social distancing, “doing our part”, and trying not to horde toilet paper (amongst other critical things). Our worries seemed insignificant and small, but beneath everything, my fears lingered and gnawed. We needed to get a handle on what was happening with Piece and get help for our son. But how would we get help now?
Photo Credit: Kev Bation
I remembered reaching out to psychologists, private clinics, and subsidized ones, only to hear the dreaded drone of recorded voice mail messages. It didn’t matter where I called, or who I called, the message was the same: Their offices were closed until further notice and to go to the hospital if there was a true emergency. In my mind, as a mother of this little boy who was struggling, this WAS an emergency.
All I had at my disposal was the internet and time. I researched, Autism, ADHD and Dyslexia, since these are the well known, well-funded, and more familiar school-associated neurodevelopmental conditions. Studying countless articles, stories, webpages, TedTalks and related videos, there were similarities to what Pierce was experiencing...and yet, they didn’t quite fit. Yes, Pierce struggled with his reading and writing and also with his focus and with numeracy. Like some conditions, he was expressive with his excitement and interests, which would translate into gentle handwaving, bouncing and pacing when activated. But his symptoms and what he faced seemed broader and more complex, with more puzzle pieces to solve. They couldn’t be neatly generalized into “this” or “that”. I needed more help and direction.
As the weeks passed, our family, along with the rest of the world, stutter-stepped into the new norm of social distancing and slowly merged into the reality of online virtual platforms (thankfully). Here Zoom calls and Team meetings were our portal to the outside, and to each other. This (for me) was met with great relief. From there, I started to awaken out of the COVID haze and make the calls needed.
Photo Credit: L N
The first was to my family doctor to see if she could provide guidance. The appointment was relegated to a tele-health-style-phone appointment, and I wasn’t going to complain (we were still living through a global pandemic after all). Small pleasantries aside, I shared with her my deep concerns about Pierce’s growing anxiety, and the ways in which he was having difficulties in school and keeping up. My desire was to pin down if his issues were medical in scope or something more.
In that conversation, I brought up Pierce’s movements for the first time and gave her the history behind them - his little hand waves, toe walking, and pacing. To our doctor, the movements were something tangible to be investigated. And so the combination of his “excited movements”, anxiety, and struggles, helped push a referral forward with a developmental pediatrician (something I don’t believe would have happened with his school issues alone). With it though, our doctor strongly encouraged that a pscyho-educational evaluation would still be of great benefit, and go a long way in helping Pierce. It would work hand in hand with the pediatric referral and, at the very least, help rule things out (ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, and other specific learning disabilities). She leaned heavily into finding help privately, if at all possible, and circumvent the long wait of subsidized testing and care through the school board.
Early intervention was the message….and my husband and I completely agreed.