Part 2: The Plan…

Photo Credit: Jon Tyson

As parent’s we are well aware that nothing ever occurs in a vacuum.   Pierce’s anxiety manifested slowly over time, and we tried our best to manage it alongside.  As the early signs started to set in, my husband reached out to his teachers, since connecting with people is the fulcrum to his approach to problem solving.  He met and talked with the teachers regularly to share Pierce’s anxieties about school and find out what measures could be taken – if any.  

Living in a medium-sized city, we were fortunate to be at a great school that had resources and teachers who cared and who were onside.  That in itself, was (and still is) invaluable.  They got Pierce extra reading help, and through his involvement,  my husband managed to get an IEP (Individual Education Plan) in place for our son early on, even though Pierce had no formal diagnosis.  Unbeknownst to us, this was a huge and important win.  

As parents we fiercely guard our children and the burning light that make them shine, trying to shield them from all the ugliness in the world. I know for many parents, an IEP may seem scary for some, concerned that it would flag their child and stigmatize them in an unwitting way.  Some are worried that future educators would glance at an IEP and look past the potential of their children and ignore or fail to see their brilliance.  Some moms and dads  are afraid that  it would  be a convenient excuse for educators to pass over their child  and move on to another who they deem more deserving of their time - with time being a precious commodity.   All these thoughts encapsulated my fears of having an IEP follow my son and be a part of his academic life.

The IEP, I later learned, is an essential tool for our children with learning disabilities.  Someone helped explained that it facilitated accommodations, communication, and a way to keep needed channels open for our children - and only if we choose.  Without it, there aren’t even options to do so. 

At that time, my son’s IEP did not modify his academic expectations, but its existence helped the teachers recognize that he needed extra attention for his success.  It put into writing the steps and practices that helped Pierce ask for help discreetly, and for the teacher to be more engaged and check-in with him.  Despite this effort, it was still too much for our son, and he was flailing, overwhelmed, and lost by February of 2020.